The Promise Of Autumn
The Hope Of Tomorrow

II Peter reads,
"We have also a more sure word of prophecy; whereunto ye do well that ye take heed, as unto a light that shineth in a dark place, until the day dawn, and the day star arise in your hearts: Knowing this first, that no prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation. For the prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: but holy men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost."

The Psalmist said, "Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day."

I find an inexorable law of the human race (I might well say depraved man), which is that wherever there is depravity, Righteousness is desired.
Now, I do not mean desired in the sense that man is seeking after God. I do not pretend that there is any good in man which would cause him to draw near His Creator. It is only the mercy of God that regenerates the soul.
However; it is true that man is always seeking.
He is always longing for something he does not have, and the thing he is longing for is always exactly what he wants until the moment he gets it. (Google keywords: Sehnsucht Lewis)
But I have found - after many long Autumns of being lost - the secret to this longing, and not having...the secret to Autumn.

Autumn is in itself a sort of Sehnsucht. It embodies that blustery sort of desire which is not perfectly fulfilled (Autumn is a transition), but is not something to be trivialised. We might be tempted to think of Autumn as only a transition, but it does not end there. Autumn is also a destination. It is a longing, but that in itself is a longing for a longing.
It's like longing for Autumn during Spring, or Summer. Even when Autumn comes, you may still find yourself longing.

This is Christianity...mere Christianity, at any rate.
We can try looking to pantheism or occultism for the answers, but we will still be longing for something else.
But what if we were to long for the longing itself? What if that intangible Autumn were to turn out to be - not Autumn - but the desire for Autumn:
That desire that rises from your heart to your throat in the frosty pre-dawn of Summer's last morning, when you stand on the edge of the Worlde and look out at the flat expanse before you, half-revealed in the pale moonlight...

What if we were created with the desire to desire? What if all our longings and wantings were there because He put them there? Not so that we might fulfill them here on earth, but so that we might realise we were not ultimately created for this life...
Just as fish do not yearn the dry land, because they were not created for it...
Lewis remarks: "If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."

Arise my body, my small body, we have striven
Enough, and He is merciful; we are forgiven.
Arise small body, puppet-like and pale, and go,
White as the bed-clothes into bed, and cold as snow,
Undress with small, cold fingers and put out the light,
And be alone, hush'd mortal, in the sacred night,
-A meadow whipt flat with the rain, a cup
Emptied and clean, a garment washed and folded up,
Faded in colour, thinned almost to raggedness
By dirt and by the washing of that dirtiness.
Be not too quickly warm again. Lie cold; consent
To weariness' and pardon's watery element.
Drink up the bitter water, breathe the chilly death;
Soon enough comes the riot of our blood and breath.

CS Lewis